It's been a month since my dad died, and for anyone who was wondering it's already changed my life a lot.

You learn a lot about the people you love when a close family member dies. I found out that my friends are way more wonderful than I'd been giving them credit for, and that in an un-fixable crisis like death; D is no good to me.

He and I have been fighting and fighting. He's beck in Wisconsin for the summer and I can barely get him on the phone. He just told me last night that not only will he not be back for my birthday, but it's probable that he won't be back for my birthday/graduation party a week later. It has something to do with his online classes. I freaked out last night, but this morning it kind of seemed like no big deal. He and I just aren't very close anymore. I wouldn't be too surprised if we break up after we move out of this apartment. He's going to Boulder and I'm going back to live with my mom for a year. It doesn't seem too much like he's interested in me or staying together. I don't know, I'm not making any big decisions right now.

I've been really good for the last week or so about eating right and working out every day. I've lost four pounds, which is encouraging. There's something to be said for being in your twenties, metabolism still bounces back. I'd really like to lose some of the weight I've gained in the last year, and I finally think I can be committed to a change in lifestyle. It helps that my mom wants to lose weight too and I'm moving in with her.

I seem to be coming out of the coma I was in for the last few months. I was making dinner last Friday night with BQ and another friend and it hit me that I felt happy for the first time in a really long time. I'm grateful for that.