It's strange how I don't feel anything.

I mean I cried when Mama told me. I felt like it was just the appropriate reaction. I calmed down almost immediately. I feel like everyone is looking at me wondering why I don't just fall apart. I thought that it'd be worse, that I'd feel this huge reaction yesterday when I went to the hospital. In fact, I was almost sure that it'd be really hard to handle. Instead it was fine. I was fine. I don't feel like I should be fine. I just feel organized, controlled.

Maybe I'm just keeping it all together 'til all my finals are done. I don't want to have some kind of nervous breakdown. I just don't want to be some kind of emotional black hole. It feels like I'm being inappropriate.

In other news (sort of) I have a frickin' ton of Christmas shopping, since I have to do the entire list this year. I have to do shopping for my sister, my mom, my dad and all of my own, sort of stressful. I also have so much homework to do I probably shouldn't even be blogging right now.

So I'll stop now. I've gotta go do some stuff.