So we're in bed. Just talking, then kissing, then fucking. And I'm having a good time. Then his hand slides up around my neck and I almost lost my mind. I gasped and he took that as a good sign. I closed my eyes and tried for a moment to shut out the thoughts that were racing through my mind. The last thing I wanted was to start crying. My tears would be very difficult to explain. My body had other ideas though, trained to respond to the slight deprivation of air and the warm closeness of another body I felt heat spread through me. But as I buried my head into his shoulder I smelled him. It wasn't the smell that went with the feeling I was having, and something snapped. As I dug my nails into the back of his head I started to feel dirty, and not in a good way. I almost kicked him off me, then thought better of it, he was about to finish. So I let him. He was so sweet after. And I felt ill. I crawled into his arms and he hugged me, completely oblivious. All I could do was feel bad.