I've been incredibly busy. I just started school last week and it's wreaking havoc on my life, along with the new "living together" feelings...
We have spent so much money lately. We've been trying to fix things up, stock our pantry, and just generally make this place feel like home. Throw book prices into the mix and you've got money hemorrhaging out the wazoo. I'm a girl with expensive tastes, so this has meant some cutting back on personal items. I've made a prudent decision not to buy fall clothes this year. Many of my clothes from last year are still in style, so I shouldn't be hurting too badly, if I get desperate I can always break out the sewing machine. However, today at the shoe store a rather expensive pair of Ralph Lauren boots caught my eye... I'm having trouble shaking the thought of them, the soft leather, the sexy way they grazed my legs... Ok, ok. Enough. I'll just stay away from shopping venues.
School is going. There is so much to absorb, this semester is definitely the most intense I've ever had. I've figured out my reading schedule each week includes almost three hundred pages on average, when I figure in all the background research I end up doing. Ridiculous. Just to torture myself I'm forcing pleasure reading into the schedule as well. Currently I have The Bell Jar and The Voyage of the Dawn Treader going, as well as this month's W which is a book in itself, luckily there's lots of pictures there to entertain me.
Living with D promises to make me into a more rounded person as I wake up with Headline News and fall asleep to the local news and the Daily Show. D patiently explains to me the parts I need filled in. His constant attention to NPR I retain through osmosis, as he is constantly relating one thing or another to me. In turn, he seems to be reading more, right now he is wading through the new Harry Potter, which cannot be passed on to me until he is done. Please don't say anything about it if you've read it. I've managed to ignore most of the talk 'til this point, don't ruin it for me now.
My intuition has been dinging off the hook lately. I had the opportunity to spend a few minutes with E on campus. He looks tired and disheveled. He lied to someone on the phone so artlessly in front of me that I wondered for a moment what has happened to him. Then he said something about her, his new girlfriend, and I could see. It was as if his chest split open in front of me and I could see the maggots crawling around the rotting vessel that used to be his heart. It sickened me a little. I've tried not to run into him since. It's depressing at best. But I heard some news about someone from our past that I couldn't resist passing on to him yesterday. When he called me back there was a tinge of desperation in his voice when I said I had to go. I can't help feeling a little sorry for him. Even now that he has made his life so much better in so many ways, he's still found something that could ruin it all.
D seems to be doing pretty well, though he seems anxious about school. My meds aren't working well right now, the stress of the last month has eked it's way into my chemistry and I'm feeling fairly manic. I'm taking lots of deep breaths though and trying to relax. Things are falling into place, and I have such a good chance for happiness. I just have to find that way to keep my mind from clamping down on me, sabotaging it all.
On that light note, I have things to do...
Kisses.
We have spent so much money lately. We've been trying to fix things up, stock our pantry, and just generally make this place feel like home. Throw book prices into the mix and you've got money hemorrhaging out the wazoo. I'm a girl with expensive tastes, so this has meant some cutting back on personal items. I've made a prudent decision not to buy fall clothes this year. Many of my clothes from last year are still in style, so I shouldn't be hurting too badly, if I get desperate I can always break out the sewing machine. However, today at the shoe store a rather expensive pair of Ralph Lauren boots caught my eye... I'm having trouble shaking the thought of them, the soft leather, the sexy way they grazed my legs... Ok, ok. Enough. I'll just stay away from shopping venues.
School is going. There is so much to absorb, this semester is definitely the most intense I've ever had. I've figured out my reading schedule each week includes almost three hundred pages on average, when I figure in all the background research I end up doing. Ridiculous. Just to torture myself I'm forcing pleasure reading into the schedule as well. Currently I have The Bell Jar and The Voyage of the Dawn Treader going, as well as this month's W which is a book in itself, luckily there's lots of pictures there to entertain me.
Living with D promises to make me into a more rounded person as I wake up with Headline News and fall asleep to the local news and the Daily Show. D patiently explains to me the parts I need filled in. His constant attention to NPR I retain through osmosis, as he is constantly relating one thing or another to me. In turn, he seems to be reading more, right now he is wading through the new Harry Potter, which cannot be passed on to me until he is done. Please don't say anything about it if you've read it. I've managed to ignore most of the talk 'til this point, don't ruin it for me now.
My intuition has been dinging off the hook lately. I had the opportunity to spend a few minutes with E on campus. He looks tired and disheveled. He lied to someone on the phone so artlessly in front of me that I wondered for a moment what has happened to him. Then he said something about her, his new girlfriend, and I could see. It was as if his chest split open in front of me and I could see the maggots crawling around the rotting vessel that used to be his heart. It sickened me a little. I've tried not to run into him since. It's depressing at best. But I heard some news about someone from our past that I couldn't resist passing on to him yesterday. When he called me back there was a tinge of desperation in his voice when I said I had to go. I can't help feeling a little sorry for him. Even now that he has made his life so much better in so many ways, he's still found something that could ruin it all.
D seems to be doing pretty well, though he seems anxious about school. My meds aren't working well right now, the stress of the last month has eked it's way into my chemistry and I'm feeling fairly manic. I'm taking lots of deep breaths though and trying to relax. Things are falling into place, and I have such a good chance for happiness. I just have to find that way to keep my mind from clamping down on me, sabotaging it all.
On that light note, I have things to do...
Kisses.
1 Comments:
I love that part in the new Harry Potter book where he goes to Disneyland. lol. Good luck in school. I loved school. I love studying. Actually, it sounds like D is very much like me. Does he read classic literature just for fun rather than because it is assigned reading? I thought so. When we are driving and I'm listening to NPR, when we stop, my son tells me "you can listen to the radio daddy, I'll wait."
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