I've been thinking a lot lately about mother-in-laws, or perhaps just in-laws in general. This is likely a result of having just recently spent so much time with my own prospective in-laws.
In-laws can make things so difficult, especially mothers. They all have so many opinions... Being a particularly judgemental person myself, I guess I can understand. It's just so damned inconvenient.
D's mother has long been suspicious of me. I don't really blame her on some counts. When we first met D and I were "just friends" a statement that was obviously false. We were clearly sleeping together. However, instead of saying that her problem with our relationship lies in the fact that we've been off and on for a long time, she has expressed that her problem lies with me. She's insinuated that because of my "unstable" past there might be problems.
What complete bullshit.
Has she noticed how "unstable" her own son has been for the past year and a half? I suppose she hasn't. Or maybe she has...
My primary problem with her is that she seems to play favorites. When D got out of the Army his parents were quick to kick him out. They told him that he had a certain amount of time to stay at home, then he would start incurring rent. This propelled him out of the house so quickly that years later they still complain that he doesn't want to spend time with them. It wasn't the first time they kicked him out either, they kicked him out when he was 18 as well, then complained when he didn't want to walk for his high school graduation to please them. As quick as they've been to get him out of the house they've let his 23 year old, younger brother, stay on and stay on. True, he's had some problems, but they baby him beyond belief.
D's mother spent a half-hour before the wedding explaining to me how smart C (D's brother is) she never mentioned ONCE how proud she is of D. She should be proud of him, he's accomplished more since high school than most people do in a lifetime. Instead I told her how proud I am of him, how I know that he's absolutely brilliant, and how I know he WILL graduate. She replied by telling me that C's IQ is tested in the genius levels. Then she talked over and over about D's dyslexia. D doesn't even have dyslexia, he has ADHD, which she's adamently refused to accept.
I don't want to dislike her, in fact, I desperately want to get along with her. I've gotten along well with my other boyfriend's mothers, I want to like her. I just have so little respect for how she clearly plays favorites with her children. She's also called me a "know it all" because I have opinions of my own about things. The entire time I was there, she never asked me one personal question about myself, it was like she didn't even care to get to know me. It makes it hard to want to make a 16 hour drive this Christmas, to leave my own family, to be with them.
I'm not sure what to do about this situation, I know many people struggle with difficult mother-in-laws... I think this is one of those things I'll have to bite my tongue about.
In-laws can make things so difficult, especially mothers. They all have so many opinions... Being a particularly judgemental person myself, I guess I can understand. It's just so damned inconvenient.
D's mother has long been suspicious of me. I don't really blame her on some counts. When we first met D and I were "just friends" a statement that was obviously false. We were clearly sleeping together. However, instead of saying that her problem with our relationship lies in the fact that we've been off and on for a long time, she has expressed that her problem lies with me. She's insinuated that because of my "unstable" past there might be problems.
What complete bullshit.
Has she noticed how "unstable" her own son has been for the past year and a half? I suppose she hasn't. Or maybe she has...
My primary problem with her is that she seems to play favorites. When D got out of the Army his parents were quick to kick him out. They told him that he had a certain amount of time to stay at home, then he would start incurring rent. This propelled him out of the house so quickly that years later they still complain that he doesn't want to spend time with them. It wasn't the first time they kicked him out either, they kicked him out when he was 18 as well, then complained when he didn't want to walk for his high school graduation to please them. As quick as they've been to get him out of the house they've let his 23 year old, younger brother, stay on and stay on. True, he's had some problems, but they baby him beyond belief.
D's mother spent a half-hour before the wedding explaining to me how smart C (D's brother is) she never mentioned ONCE how proud she is of D. She should be proud of him, he's accomplished more since high school than most people do in a lifetime. Instead I told her how proud I am of him, how I know that he's absolutely brilliant, and how I know he WILL graduate. She replied by telling me that C's IQ is tested in the genius levels. Then she talked over and over about D's dyslexia. D doesn't even have dyslexia, he has ADHD, which she's adamently refused to accept.
I don't want to dislike her, in fact, I desperately want to get along with her. I've gotten along well with my other boyfriend's mothers, I want to like her. I just have so little respect for how she clearly plays favorites with her children. She's also called me a "know it all" because I have opinions of my own about things. The entire time I was there, she never asked me one personal question about myself, it was like she didn't even care to get to know me. It makes it hard to want to make a 16 hour drive this Christmas, to leave my own family, to be with them.
I'm not sure what to do about this situation, I know many people struggle with difficult mother-in-laws... I think this is one of those things I'll have to bite my tongue about.
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