Most of my stress lately is related to the constant pit in the bottom of my stomach related to my grad school applications. My biggest source of concern is my current GPA, I have had over a 3.5 for the last four semesters, unfortunately that hasn't helped me so much. Before I originally left Boulder to come to Denver I failed four classes. That killed my GPA. It was mostly because I was sick, and anything that even remotely challenged me got filed in the "IGNORE IT" folder. Ultimately, I KNOW this doesn't reflect my true intellect, I'm just not sure the grad schools I'm applying to will see it that way. The University of Colorado has a fairly competitive program, I'm a little afraid that they might see someone else as a better asset to their program than me. I wake up with the pit, and I fall asleep with it. I worry that I'll actually scare myself out of a position in the program. I just keep giving myself pep talks. None of it can be as bad as it seems, can it?

On a nicer note, D and I are planning a little getaway. Our one year anniversary is coming up and we've booked a room in Vail for a night during the Halloween weekend. I'm looking forward to this so much. As horrible as I've been to him for the past few weeks he's been such a trooper. He's only yelled back at me once, the incident in my last post, and he's working overtime to try and even out the disparity in the labor around here. He's changing the water in the enormous fish tank that now occupies half of one wall in our bedroom right now. It's funny to watch him scoot back and forth between the kitchen and the bedroom. He's showing the cat what's inside the tank. She's crying loudly at him, she'd desperately like to get inside and eat those fish.

That's been my life lately, constant work, worrying about grad school and cultivating an entirely new ecosystem in my bedroom.... Yes, I think 125 gallons of water constitutes an ecosystem in a 1400 square foot apartment. It's quite large.