This is going to be all vague. Just warning you. I just really need to vent.

Brother and a friend of mine got involved on a very casual basis. They decided it was between them, and since it was casual there was no need to make a fuss and tell everyone. Fine for them, they're adults. They certainly don't have to advertise their actions. I have my opinions, but they're not important in this situation. I would have been perfectly fine not knowing. I had some tiny suspicions, but closed my eyes to them, not really caring to see.

However, Brother broke their deal not to tell. He got piss drunk and told D. Then he freaked and told D he absolutely couldn't tell me. Which would have worked out OK had my sneaking suspicions not caused me to say jokingly last week at breakfast; "Is there something going on with Brother and Friend?" I laughed.. Really, I was joking. They'd just been getting along so well... I was joking. He looked me straight in the face, laughed, and said "I don't know." Which of course wasn't true.

Then it all came apart today. She was there last night. She came to my house. I wasn't there, I was at my mom's. D knew what was going on. Apparently, the fact that she came into our home and Brother expected him to lie caused him to feel some sort of guilt about lying. He told me this afternoon that she was there.

I called, and she confirmed that they'd had relations. We talked and she thought I knew because Brother said that D knew. What he failed to tell her was that he swore D to secrecy. That's not her fault, she kept up her end of the deal. She didn't lie when I asked her directly. I appreciate that she didn't act like I was so stupid I couldn't figure it out at that point. Apparently, D and Brother thought I'd never figure it out. I AM a complete idiot though, right?

I think it's a pretty big deal to ask someone to lie to their significant other. I've been informed (not so nicely, by D) that this was none of my business. And I agree, whether they sleep together or not is not my business. It's their business and Brother should have kept it that way. By asking D to lie he brought it into the realm of "our business."

I'm mad because D and I have had so many problems with Brother lately. Brother gave me a talking to about getting off D's back about getting married (THAT was not HIS business) and Brother says a lot of hurtful things to me. He masks them with a "joking" attitude. But at some point that kind of joking is just hurtful. I'm mad that D just let this one come. I'm mad that I found out from Friend that Doug had lied to me. That was embarassing.

I'm mad about life in general, as mentioned in previous posts.

I seriously don't need this kind of crap. I know there are people out there that would whisper; "break up, he's no good." I can't say that there isn't a part of me that agrees right now. I feel like if it was so easy to lie about this, what else has he been lying about, what else would he lie about to cover Brother's ass?

I need some room to think. Does anyone have a room?