I misunderstood something about the whole "New Years" issue. In my haste to be pissed off I didn't hear something sort of important to the whole argument... He tried to get it off. However, it being New Years, nobody would take the shift. That sucks. But it really isn't worth him losing his job over. That being said, I think he feels pretty bad about the whole thing. When I confronted him about the "At least we can still hang out on my birthday" comment I got a funny look. Then... "I was being sarcastic. Don't you think I think it sucks that we can't do something cool for New Years? Think about where you've been for the last three years." Oops. That's right, I was with E. In Boston. Which brought up a really interesting thought.... Last year at Christmas D was at his parents (a 14 hour drive away) and suddenly two days before I was supposed to leave for Boston he calls me. He says he's coming home. He drives fourteen hours back here. He even drives me to the airport, on his birthday, after we'd spent the night together. Then he spent the rest of his birthday alone. And according to other mutual friends had a spectacularly drunk, horrible night on New Years Eve. After having all this occur to me I look at him kind of strangely. He looks unhappy. And I get it. He doesn't have to say anything to me, it all kind of hits me. He came back here for me last year. He knew how he felt, and he came back. It all makes so much sense now. How things really got worse after that. It wasn't that he didn't know, it was that he wasn't comfortable with the back and forth with E. Seems rather obvious now. So many things, so many of the obscured comments, the anger. I just thought he knew that if he wanted me all he had to do was ask. He was waiting for me to dump E for good. I wish we would have been more honest with each other sooner.

At any rate New Year Eve is not completely lost. He says he'll get off by 11... We're going to opt out of an expensive, citified night... There are a number of biker bars in his town. I think we're planning on ringing in the New Year with a bunch of bikers. Those guys are the best anyway... And when they all leave the bar at the same time it makes the neatest noise. Vrmmmmmm.