Apparently he can't speak to me because: "This is hard for me too." Which was prefaced by: "I don't want to make this any harder for you." How considerate. Quite possibly that consideration for my feelings might have been appropriate six months ago. These clearly heartfelt platitudes came to me last night in an email. How brave. I stick my heart out on the line for six months and he has the courage to tell me that he hurts in an email. I'm sure the whoring and drinking is making him miserable. Let's be clear, I don't feel bad for him AT ALL.

Nor do I feel too badly for myself. I knew what I was getting into, I'm not sitting around feeling sorry for myself, though I have been doing my fair share of sitting around. I think I'm coming down with something. I feel an intense need to sleep, all the time. Maybe that's because the two weeks prior to the breakup I was barely sleeping at all.

I backed out of plans to attend a wedding on Friday with my Mama. While I'm feeling ok about things I'm fairly certain that a wedding my bring me to tears, and not in a good way. I just don't feel like celebrating love at the moment.

That's the update for now.

(Oh, if someone borrowed my sexy pink sweater, please give it back. I know it was you Steven, I'm on to you and your hot-pink sweater wearing ways.)