The last few days have been nuts.

I wake up this morning and it all hits me in the chest like a train. I'm panicking. So I wait. Deep breaths. Monks chanting. Tea? No tea, the caffeine will make things worse. What am I panicking about? My parents moving, me moving, the stress of stress itself. I freaked out. The last couple of weeks have been hectic, I've barely been able to get a breath.

So I take the Ativan. I sit down. I beging to feel the familiar warmth and calm of drugged bliss. Which is where I spent most of the day. Just calming down.

Tomorrow we go look at apartments. D asked me if I was excited and I just wasn't sure what to say. Yeah, I'm excited to move in together. I'm not excited to move.

I'm stressed about school. This class is way to easy. It's the having nothing to do. The end of July is like an anchor weight pulling my summer down.

I wonder what I'll get for my birthday.