January 23, 2006

Old lady spit.

Today in a class called "Music Appreciation" the professor captured her audience (I call them "audience" instead of "class" because she is constantly performing a complex theatre of "being a professor") by grossing them out. She is an old lady, she has what one might call "dramatic flair"... In a fit of fake coughing she cried out to her audience "Does anybody have any waterrrrr?" --the multiple rrr's imply trilling. Her audience was partially stunned into silence. They all knew that she was faking it, that was obvious. Because had she truly been coughing they would have rushed to get her water. Also, she was wearing red lipstick that appeared to be the consistency of a melted crayon. And so the dramatic professor with an elegant flit of her wrist grasped at the nearest bottle on one of her students' (audience members') desk and took several very large, very unladlylike gulps. Then she delicately placed it back on the shocked girl's desk, exactly where she found it. A collective breath inward reverberated around the room. All were disgusted. The poor shocked girl was forced to either wash or discard her brand new, beautiful, hot pink Nalgene bottle.

Had the poor shocked girl been me, I would have thrown the bottle away. All the dishwasher cycles in the world could not clean the memory of the crayon lipstick and the gulping. Luckily, I left MY hot pink Nalgene in my car today. I was thirsty, but it was safe.


In other news....
There is no other news. Except maybe that I hate Rudyard atKipling and his stupid book "Kim".... Hate it. Hate it. Am thinking of not finishing it. I. Don't. Do. That. But this time, oh I just might. That would teach him... Really, there isn't any other news.

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