The roots of this post are in the last post's comments...
My life has not been perfect, or easy the last few years. It's been difficult. That's why I started this blog in the first place to vent my anger and frustrations. It was never really supposed to be about enjoying the good stuff that happens, though lately the good stuff has been incredibly absent. This summer turned from being ok, and being about healing to nasty and horrible in the blink of an eye. It has thrown me for a really large, ugly loop. I've stayed mostly in bed for the last 40 hours or so. This situation has taught me to always keep my mouth shut until I know exactly what I'm saying... I can't get into the specifics, but just know I learned a valuable lesson.
I've been learning valuable lessons all along. That has kind of turned into my mission statement for my twenties; "I will learn valuable lessons." I have to tell you, anyone who thinks your twenties are "the best years of your life" are privileged folks. In my opinion the twenties are a hard decade for most people. We're still finding out who we are. While it might not be the greatest fun in the world I've been working my ass off to make sure that I figure some major stuff out now. The way I see it my thirties and forties are going to be all about settling down and having a career. I'd like to enjoy those times, not be plagued with all the insecurities and bad relationship issues I have now. I'm working to work that stuff out.
I'm someone who has done things in a different way from a lot of my peers, and I have different circumstances. I'm extremely close to my family and my dad just died. I'm twenty-four, and I'll be twenty-five before I can even HOPE to begin my master's degree. This is my dream; this is what I've wanted to do for a long time. I love school; while studying stresses me out sometimes it's a good stress. It's stress I can control and maintain. Also, it's what I love. I wouldn't be choosing to stay in school forever if I didn't LOVE it. I know that's hard for a lot of people to relate to, but it's the truth for me.
The way I figure it I'm about halfway through figuring out my really tough issues. I'm pretty proud of that. While I may not always sound happy here, I'm 24 and life has been rough. I always try to put that in perspective to myself, there are people who life has handed worse cards to, but things really are relative sometimes. This is me, and this is what I'm doing. I can't help anyone else until I help myself. So that's what I'm doing.
My life has not been perfect, or easy the last few years. It's been difficult. That's why I started this blog in the first place to vent my anger and frustrations. It was never really supposed to be about enjoying the good stuff that happens, though lately the good stuff has been incredibly absent. This summer turned from being ok, and being about healing to nasty and horrible in the blink of an eye. It has thrown me for a really large, ugly loop. I've stayed mostly in bed for the last 40 hours or so. This situation has taught me to always keep my mouth shut until I know exactly what I'm saying... I can't get into the specifics, but just know I learned a valuable lesson.
I've been learning valuable lessons all along. That has kind of turned into my mission statement for my twenties; "I will learn valuable lessons." I have to tell you, anyone who thinks your twenties are "the best years of your life" are privileged folks. In my opinion the twenties are a hard decade for most people. We're still finding out who we are. While it might not be the greatest fun in the world I've been working my ass off to make sure that I figure some major stuff out now. The way I see it my thirties and forties are going to be all about settling down and having a career. I'd like to enjoy those times, not be plagued with all the insecurities and bad relationship issues I have now. I'm working to work that stuff out.
I'm someone who has done things in a different way from a lot of my peers, and I have different circumstances. I'm extremely close to my family and my dad just died. I'm twenty-four, and I'll be twenty-five before I can even HOPE to begin my master's degree. This is my dream; this is what I've wanted to do for a long time. I love school; while studying stresses me out sometimes it's a good stress. It's stress I can control and maintain. Also, it's what I love. I wouldn't be choosing to stay in school forever if I didn't LOVE it. I know that's hard for a lot of people to relate to, but it's the truth for me.
The way I figure it I'm about halfway through figuring out my really tough issues. I'm pretty proud of that. While I may not always sound happy here, I'm 24 and life has been rough. I always try to put that in perspective to myself, there are people who life has handed worse cards to, but things really are relative sometimes. This is me, and this is what I'm doing. I can't help anyone else until I help myself. So that's what I'm doing.
1 Comments:
Well at least there is written proof that there is a master plan in there somewhere :-)
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