Why, if I am so tired, can't I sleep? I have about a million things jumping up and down in my head. Seriously, jumping. I thought that this was going to make me feel better. It isn't.
My hair hurts. Do you know what I mean? That feeling where your hair has been in a ponytail all day and you take it out and your hair hurts? Am I making any sense here?
I feel really out of it. I'm sure part of that has to do with the fact that it's after 3, but the other part has to do with the fact that I've been really in my head today. I keep having ideas. I wrote half of my paper for the end of the summer term already...That's so unlike me. I know that these are the times when I work best, but I feel like a nutcase.
I also have the theme from The O.C. in my head. Somebody tell me why I love that show so much. Really, what could the attraction to it be? There's something sickly wonderful about it. Even that Ryan guy who I used to think was kind of ugly, I'm starting to think he's adorable.... Crazy.
There's one light on in the building across the street, probably not because they're up, probably because they leave a light on in the living room so they feel all safe. Not a bad idea.
Yesterday afternoon I was talking to Mama about how much I love these three ballerina prints that I have. They're antiques and they're in these gorgeous white and gold gilded frames. Anyway, I was saying that they're a little girly to go in our new place, and that I'll miss them. She was saying to save them for a guest bedroom. Anyway, last night at like four a.m. one of them flew off the wall. Just crashed to the floor. It made this huge noise. I literally jumped out of bed and hit the lights. I actually hit the wall trying to find the switch. It took me several minutes to find the source of the noise. It sounded like someone was trying to break in through my bedroom window, which would be incredibly unlikely, since I live on the 5th floor.
I had to sleep with the nightlight on for the rest of the night. I'm such a baby. I also had to check in every closet, under the bed, in the kitchen, even in the shower to make sure nobody was there that was going to "get" me. I still don't know why that picture fell apart like that, but I took them all down before I tried to get back in bed to go to sleep.
I still feel like I want a fish. Maybe that would calm me down some. D has always said he'd like to have a tank. Maybe in our new place we'll get one and keep it in the bedroom. When I was a kid that was the best noise to fall asleep to, the gurgling of the fish tank. Also, if I got worked up about something I could just turn their little light on and watch them swim around 'til I nodded off. Very tranquil. People with fish tanks are supposed to have lower blood pressure. I hate that scene in "Kiss the Girls" when the killer sets up Ashley Judd's tank up at the bottom of the stairs and she trips on it. It doesn't scare me as much as it makes me sad for her. Though there were a pair of angelfish in my past that I truly hated.
I think I sound like a freaked out little kid. I'm just rambling off whatever's in my head right now. I figure if I get some of it out there might be a place for sleep to get in. Plus, I took a sleeping pill, so all I have to do is watch the letters move across the screen 'til I get sleepy. It's you who has to pay.
Why is a bird chirping at 3 a.m.? Isis wonders too. She flicked her head around so fast.
Why is it that when I get REALLY exhausted I always think about the toaster? I worry because every once in a while things in my toaster oven catch fire. I believe that I should probably just use the regular toaster, but the toaster oven reminds me of my Grandmama, and somehow everything that goes in there ends up coming out tasting better. That's why I think of that when I'm tired. Because when I'm really tired I start thinking about Grandmama's house and how safe and cool the rooms were. The green shag carpeting that seemed like grass in the dining room. The white flowers in the living room that were soft and cushy to lay down on with all sorts of pillows while the men watched football, and the women cleaned up the kitchen. Falling asleep in my Daddy's lap, full of Sunday dinner.
More than anything, sometimes I wish I could go back to being four or five Wouldn't it be wonderful if that was how you got to spend a vacation? Just being a little kid, doing something that you really loved...
Now I can go back to bed.
My hair hurts. Do you know what I mean? That feeling where your hair has been in a ponytail all day and you take it out and your hair hurts? Am I making any sense here?
I feel really out of it. I'm sure part of that has to do with the fact that it's after 3, but the other part has to do with the fact that I've been really in my head today. I keep having ideas. I wrote half of my paper for the end of the summer term already...That's so unlike me. I know that these are the times when I work best, but I feel like a nutcase.
I also have the theme from The O.C. in my head. Somebody tell me why I love that show so much. Really, what could the attraction to it be? There's something sickly wonderful about it. Even that Ryan guy who I used to think was kind of ugly, I'm starting to think he's adorable.... Crazy.
There's one light on in the building across the street, probably not because they're up, probably because they leave a light on in the living room so they feel all safe. Not a bad idea.
Yesterday afternoon I was talking to Mama about how much I love these three ballerina prints that I have. They're antiques and they're in these gorgeous white and gold gilded frames. Anyway, I was saying that they're a little girly to go in our new place, and that I'll miss them. She was saying to save them for a guest bedroom. Anyway, last night at like four a.m. one of them flew off the wall. Just crashed to the floor. It made this huge noise. I literally jumped out of bed and hit the lights. I actually hit the wall trying to find the switch. It took me several minutes to find the source of the noise. It sounded like someone was trying to break in through my bedroom window, which would be incredibly unlikely, since I live on the 5th floor.
I had to sleep with the nightlight on for the rest of the night. I'm such a baby. I also had to check in every closet, under the bed, in the kitchen, even in the shower to make sure nobody was there that was going to "get" me. I still don't know why that picture fell apart like that, but I took them all down before I tried to get back in bed to go to sleep.
I still feel like I want a fish. Maybe that would calm me down some. D has always said he'd like to have a tank. Maybe in our new place we'll get one and keep it in the bedroom. When I was a kid that was the best noise to fall asleep to, the gurgling of the fish tank. Also, if I got worked up about something I could just turn their little light on and watch them swim around 'til I nodded off. Very tranquil. People with fish tanks are supposed to have lower blood pressure. I hate that scene in "Kiss the Girls" when the killer sets up Ashley Judd's tank up at the bottom of the stairs and she trips on it. It doesn't scare me as much as it makes me sad for her. Though there were a pair of angelfish in my past that I truly hated.
I think I sound like a freaked out little kid. I'm just rambling off whatever's in my head right now. I figure if I get some of it out there might be a place for sleep to get in. Plus, I took a sleeping pill, so all I have to do is watch the letters move across the screen 'til I get sleepy. It's you who has to pay.
Why is a bird chirping at 3 a.m.? Isis wonders too. She flicked her head around so fast.
Why is it that when I get REALLY exhausted I always think about the toaster? I worry because every once in a while things in my toaster oven catch fire. I believe that I should probably just use the regular toaster, but the toaster oven reminds me of my Grandmama, and somehow everything that goes in there ends up coming out tasting better. That's why I think of that when I'm tired. Because when I'm really tired I start thinking about Grandmama's house and how safe and cool the rooms were. The green shag carpeting that seemed like grass in the dining room. The white flowers in the living room that were soft and cushy to lay down on with all sorts of pillows while the men watched football, and the women cleaned up the kitchen. Falling asleep in my Daddy's lap, full of Sunday dinner.
More than anything, sometimes I wish I could go back to being four or five Wouldn't it be wonderful if that was how you got to spend a vacation? Just being a little kid, doing something that you really loved...
Now I can go back to bed.
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