Even I am sick of reading about this ridiculous situation with D. I suppose there are a few other things to think about...
Like that I am supposed to hear back about that job interview in the next few days. I'm sort of excited about that. It turns out that I'm up against 20 or so other applicants, but hey, we all know how wonderful I am. Ha. "If we ALL knew how wonderful I am I wouldn't be in such a mess right now..." She mumbles to herself...
Or that I have my first paper due for my Philosophy class on Wednesday so I'll probably be posting about that frequently to avoid actually doing any work directly concerning it.
There's also the fact that I seem to have caught a stomach virus of some kind. Or perhaps I've just upset myself into gastrointestinal hell. Lovely, I know.
Here's something I've been noticing for a while... There are different rules that apply when living in the city, as opposed to the suburbs apparently... Some are as follows:
1. Ignoring your neighbor's friendly "Hallo" in the hallway of your apartment building is totally acceptable, furthermore, is not even rude.
2. If you hit someone's car trying to parallel park it only means that you must park somewhere else. Not that you've done anything wrong.
3. Yelling at the top of your lungs, drunk at 4 AM on a Tuesday is a positive way to get to know your neighbors.
4. If you are an old man walking down the sidewalk and a young woman is tottering along with her laundry basket it is customary to sneer "You're gonna fall" at her instead of offering her help.
5. If you are insane the best time to go to the grocery store to mutter to yourself is after 10 PM.
6. If you are an extremely attractive, flaming gay man the appropriate time to water the grass is 4 in the afternoon. The appropriate attire is a faux cowboy hat, a skintight pair of white pants and a fire-engine red t-shirt showing off all your rippling muscles. Don't forget your cowboy boots.
7. If you work at the neighborhood 7-eleven it is your duty to spend more time on cigarette breaks than at the cash register.
9. If you are trying to collect money for your next fix it is absolutely crucial that you mention being stranded to everyone you attempt to extract change from.
10. If you are a delusional drunk woman in the pub it is your God-given right to say things such as: "Wash your hat Michael, that's disgusting" and "In my imagination I can do whatever I want" while contemplating the sins of leaving wine in one's glass.
11. If you are the postman you must smoke cloves constantly while listening to reggae on your MP3 player. You must also sing to yourself as you put the letters in the boxes, not to the song on your MP3 player, but something entirely different. It makes you mysterious.
and lastly
12. If you are a 20-something white girl, who grew up in the suburbs, and is living in the "big city" as it were for the first time, it is your sacred duty to look on with humour and continue saying to yourself "I love my neighborhood" while laughing 'til tears stream down your face.
There. I didn't talk about him. 'Til now I guess. Bad Etoile. Bad.
Like that I am supposed to hear back about that job interview in the next few days. I'm sort of excited about that. It turns out that I'm up against 20 or so other applicants, but hey, we all know how wonderful I am. Ha. "If we ALL knew how wonderful I am I wouldn't be in such a mess right now..." She mumbles to herself...
Or that I have my first paper due for my Philosophy class on Wednesday so I'll probably be posting about that frequently to avoid actually doing any work directly concerning it.
There's also the fact that I seem to have caught a stomach virus of some kind. Or perhaps I've just upset myself into gastrointestinal hell. Lovely, I know.
Here's something I've been noticing for a while... There are different rules that apply when living in the city, as opposed to the suburbs apparently... Some are as follows:
1. Ignoring your neighbor's friendly "Hallo" in the hallway of your apartment building is totally acceptable, furthermore, is not even rude.
2. If you hit someone's car trying to parallel park it only means that you must park somewhere else. Not that you've done anything wrong.
3. Yelling at the top of your lungs, drunk at 4 AM on a Tuesday is a positive way to get to know your neighbors.
4. If you are an old man walking down the sidewalk and a young woman is tottering along with her laundry basket it is customary to sneer "You're gonna fall" at her instead of offering her help.
5. If you are insane the best time to go to the grocery store to mutter to yourself is after 10 PM.
6. If you are an extremely attractive, flaming gay man the appropriate time to water the grass is 4 in the afternoon. The appropriate attire is a faux cowboy hat, a skintight pair of white pants and a fire-engine red t-shirt showing off all your rippling muscles. Don't forget your cowboy boots.
7. If you work at the neighborhood 7-eleven it is your duty to spend more time on cigarette breaks than at the cash register.
9. If you are trying to collect money for your next fix it is absolutely crucial that you mention being stranded to everyone you attempt to extract change from.
10. If you are a delusional drunk woman in the pub it is your God-given right to say things such as: "Wash your hat Michael, that's disgusting" and "In my imagination I can do whatever I want" while contemplating the sins of leaving wine in one's glass.
11. If you are the postman you must smoke cloves constantly while listening to reggae on your MP3 player. You must also sing to yourself as you put the letters in the boxes, not to the song on your MP3 player, but something entirely different. It makes you mysterious.
and lastly
12. If you are a 20-something white girl, who grew up in the suburbs, and is living in the "big city" as it were for the first time, it is your sacred duty to look on with humour and continue saying to yourself "I love my neighborhood" while laughing 'til tears stream down your face.
There. I didn't talk about him. 'Til now I guess. Bad Etoile. Bad.
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