Did I imagine it? Or did I used to know how to be a good girlfriend?
Lately I just keep screwing up. I keep doing all the wrong things at the wrong moments. I feel like a baby giraffe learning to walk. I keep tripping all over myself. Every time I think we're doing ok I do something so stupid. I'm not trying to get down on myself, and D isn't berating me or anything. It's just that somehow I seem to know just the right second to say the wrong thing. I don't know how to stop it from happening.
He's going through a really tough time right now. He's got about a million balls in the air and he's having a really hard time keeping them all aloft. Somehow I keep making it worse. I keep forgeting that some of his stuff is way more important than what my latest peeve is.
Maybe it's just the evil pms hormones but I can't stop feeling like I'm messing something really good up. I want to tell him that I need a break, not a break from him, but a break from me and my mouth. I want to squeeze him so tight, and then run away 'til I figure out how to be a better person. I fucking know that things aren't always easy, and that other people have problems besides me. Why do I have to keep acting like I'm the only one who has ever gone through something really hard?
In the words of a really stupid man "When am I ever gonna LEARN?"
(In a tiny whisper)
Do you guys all want to come over? We could eat pizza and ice cream and watch TiVo, or movies. ML will make G&T's and she and Youngster can snuggle up in the big chair. We'll give Tilly the couch and she can rest her toes on Raine's lap, and we'll all bring her stuff when she wants it. Steven will spend most of the evening rummaging through the fridge, telling me what a mess it is. Me and Fran will sit on the floor with all the pillows, and he'll paint my toenails, and give me hugs. And we'll talk through all the movies, and BQ will get really drunk and then we'll call everyone in her phone and leave messages while she laughs on the floor. Then when we've talked all night, those of us who aren't pooped out will wrap up in blankets and smoke ciggies while the sun comes up, and our toes will be cold in the brisk morning air, but we won't say anything, we'll just sit there and smile, knowing we had the best sleepover ever.
Lately I just keep screwing up. I keep doing all the wrong things at the wrong moments. I feel like a baby giraffe learning to walk. I keep tripping all over myself. Every time I think we're doing ok I do something so stupid. I'm not trying to get down on myself, and D isn't berating me or anything. It's just that somehow I seem to know just the right second to say the wrong thing. I don't know how to stop it from happening.
He's going through a really tough time right now. He's got about a million balls in the air and he's having a really hard time keeping them all aloft. Somehow I keep making it worse. I keep forgeting that some of his stuff is way more important than what my latest peeve is.
Maybe it's just the evil pms hormones but I can't stop feeling like I'm messing something really good up. I want to tell him that I need a break, not a break from him, but a break from me and my mouth. I want to squeeze him so tight, and then run away 'til I figure out how to be a better person. I fucking know that things aren't always easy, and that other people have problems besides me. Why do I have to keep acting like I'm the only one who has ever gone through something really hard?
In the words of a really stupid man "When am I ever gonna LEARN?"
(In a tiny whisper)
Do you guys all want to come over? We could eat pizza and ice cream and watch TiVo, or movies. ML will make G&T's and she and Youngster can snuggle up in the big chair. We'll give Tilly the couch and she can rest her toes on Raine's lap, and we'll all bring her stuff when she wants it. Steven will spend most of the evening rummaging through the fridge, telling me what a mess it is. Me and Fran will sit on the floor with all the pillows, and he'll paint my toenails, and give me hugs. And we'll talk through all the movies, and BQ will get really drunk and then we'll call everyone in her phone and leave messages while she laughs on the floor. Then when we've talked all night, those of us who aren't pooped out will wrap up in blankets and smoke ciggies while the sun comes up, and our toes will be cold in the brisk morning air, but we won't say anything, we'll just sit there and smile, knowing we had the best sleepover ever.
3 Comments:
Sounds amazing... My smile's creeping up to my ears ^_^.
Brilliant Etoile!
Maybe one day soon
with any luck.
*howls* She was right! All I'm good for is drunk-dialing!
Or, that's when I'm at my funniest.
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