My parents went to Florida. I guess it's their last hurrah. Daddy is so sick. He sounded like a child when I talked to him earlier. I just hope they have a good time.
In the event of their leaving I decided to come here (their house) and spend a few days by myself. I think it's going to be a really good thing. It's so cool to be totally alone. I never thought I'd miss it so much, but I really do. Somehow here I can be more alone than I can when D leaves the house for a few hours, or even a few days.
I've also realized this evening, in my alone-ness, that I really do like living with him. I mean it's cool to stay up late and do whatever I please, but I miss his witty comments at the TV, and our special shared looks that pass for conversation when we're too tired to talk. I miss our home, and it's just the first night. I'm dedicated to staying the whole week though; I think we really need the time away.
D and I saw a therapist right before my dad got sick. It helped a lot, but then things got all hairy with my dad's diagnosis and all. We weren't able to go back after that. It's unfortunate that we can't continue on, I can't afford to see someone for myself, and for us as a couple. However, we're doing a pretty damn good job of working things out on our own. It's our thing.
We're both really difficult personalities, which can be really fun sometimes because we're both so complex. It can be really annoying as well. The thing that we also have in common is honesty. We're both incredibly honest with each other, which can sometimes cause a fight. The truth is that D doesn't have a TON of relationship experience. Which is weird given how many girls he's dated casually (aka: slept with). But we've worked through some of the hardest issues in the last year or so. We agree on money, children, religion and what we want our relationship to look like. We've conquered some major "living together" issues like cleanliness differences and who is going to make the meals and who is going to wash the dishes. It's communication that is still giving us a lot of problems. But I'm learning that it's total bluntness that works when talking to him, and he's learning that a little subtlety goes a long way with me.
What I'm always amazed at is when it clicks how fast things change. If I can just get a ton of work done this week I think we'll be in good shape for the rest of my semester.
I'm in the process of making some pretty big decisions right now about what's going to happen after my graduation. I've come to the conclusion that all I really want to do is go back to school. But it's way too late to apply to grad school now. Which in the big picture is ok. There is going to be some pretty rough times ahead with my parents and I don't want to have to drop out of grad school. The job I have now will cover a pretty large amount of my expenses after I'm done with school, if I got another part-time job I'd be able to get by for a while. I'm going to apply for a few "real jobs" after I graduate. We'll see. Things are so up in the air right now.
Be thinking about what you want to give me for graduation. I'll take cash to pay the rent. Really, I will.
In the event of their leaving I decided to come here (their house) and spend a few days by myself. I think it's going to be a really good thing. It's so cool to be totally alone. I never thought I'd miss it so much, but I really do. Somehow here I can be more alone than I can when D leaves the house for a few hours, or even a few days.
I've also realized this evening, in my alone-ness, that I really do like living with him. I mean it's cool to stay up late and do whatever I please, but I miss his witty comments at the TV, and our special shared looks that pass for conversation when we're too tired to talk. I miss our home, and it's just the first night. I'm dedicated to staying the whole week though; I think we really need the time away.
D and I saw a therapist right before my dad got sick. It helped a lot, but then things got all hairy with my dad's diagnosis and all. We weren't able to go back after that. It's unfortunate that we can't continue on, I can't afford to see someone for myself, and for us as a couple. However, we're doing a pretty damn good job of working things out on our own. It's our thing.
We're both really difficult personalities, which can be really fun sometimes because we're both so complex. It can be really annoying as well. The thing that we also have in common is honesty. We're both incredibly honest with each other, which can sometimes cause a fight. The truth is that D doesn't have a TON of relationship experience. Which is weird given how many girls he's dated casually (aka: slept with). But we've worked through some of the hardest issues in the last year or so. We agree on money, children, religion and what we want our relationship to look like. We've conquered some major "living together" issues like cleanliness differences and who is going to make the meals and who is going to wash the dishes. It's communication that is still giving us a lot of problems. But I'm learning that it's total bluntness that works when talking to him, and he's learning that a little subtlety goes a long way with me.
What I'm always amazed at is when it clicks how fast things change. If I can just get a ton of work done this week I think we'll be in good shape for the rest of my semester.
I'm in the process of making some pretty big decisions right now about what's going to happen after my graduation. I've come to the conclusion that all I really want to do is go back to school. But it's way too late to apply to grad school now. Which in the big picture is ok. There is going to be some pretty rough times ahead with my parents and I don't want to have to drop out of grad school. The job I have now will cover a pretty large amount of my expenses after I'm done with school, if I got another part-time job I'd be able to get by for a while. I'm going to apply for a few "real jobs" after I graduate. We'll see. Things are so up in the air right now.
Be thinking about what you want to give me for graduation. I'll take cash to pay the rent. Really, I will.
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