The rest of Valentine's Day did not go so well.
It was kind of like a domino effect that could have been avoided had I simply made some better choices. BQ broke up with her boyfriend, so she decided to come to Denver. A bunch of us thought we'd go out dancing. I thought this would get D off the hook a little by him not having to plan anything romantic. He was going to be at work until ten anyway, so I thought he'd be cool with meeting up later. That was my first wrong move.
D told me almost a breath after I'd made these plans that he DIDN'T want to go dancing. He DIDN'T want to go to the particular club we were going to and that he DIDN'T want to have any part of this plan at all. At this point, I should have a. said "fuck it" and done what I wanted without being mad or b. said I wouldn't go out with my friends and stayed home and been cozy. Since I did neither things blew up in my face rather quickly.
We were having a pretty good time at the bar until it was time for D to be home from work. I called him and he insisted that he didn't want to come out. Which launched me into a "you're ruining my Valentine's Day" diatribe. Eventually, through a lot of complicated persuasion that involves someone else's boyfriend going to get him he came out. But by that time I was fuming mad, and on my way to being fairly drunk. Shortly after he arrived BQ decided to leave with one of our mutual male friends. Here was another point where I could have made a good decision, I could have left and gone home and the night might've been salvaged. Of course I didn't.
Instead we stayed for another hour or so and I proceeded to drink quite a bit. When we did finally get home I drank some more. I was just that angry at him. Which led to us getting into a multi-day argument that didn't end until one this morning. Lots of things were said that probably should have been said a long time ago. I just wish that they hadn't been said on Valentine's Day, of all days.
The strain in our relationship has been pretty tight lately. It doesn't help that there have been some outside problems that have leaked in. We had a very frank talk last night about the fact that we both think that things have slipped to a damaging level in our relationship. I'm very, very scared that the slightest tip could topple us at this point. The bickering has gotten to a point that neither of us wants to deal with it anymore.
I'm not really sure what will happen next. Something needs to change, because the hurt in our relationship has hurt the rest of my life. Things just need to get better fast.
It was kind of like a domino effect that could have been avoided had I simply made some better choices. BQ broke up with her boyfriend, so she decided to come to Denver. A bunch of us thought we'd go out dancing. I thought this would get D off the hook a little by him not having to plan anything romantic. He was going to be at work until ten anyway, so I thought he'd be cool with meeting up later. That was my first wrong move.
D told me almost a breath after I'd made these plans that he DIDN'T want to go dancing. He DIDN'T want to go to the particular club we were going to and that he DIDN'T want to have any part of this plan at all. At this point, I should have a. said "fuck it" and done what I wanted without being mad or b. said I wouldn't go out with my friends and stayed home and been cozy. Since I did neither things blew up in my face rather quickly.
We were having a pretty good time at the bar until it was time for D to be home from work. I called him and he insisted that he didn't want to come out. Which launched me into a "you're ruining my Valentine's Day" diatribe. Eventually, through a lot of complicated persuasion that involves someone else's boyfriend going to get him he came out. But by that time I was fuming mad, and on my way to being fairly drunk. Shortly after he arrived BQ decided to leave with one of our mutual male friends. Here was another point where I could have made a good decision, I could have left and gone home and the night might've been salvaged. Of course I didn't.
Instead we stayed for another hour or so and I proceeded to drink quite a bit. When we did finally get home I drank some more. I was just that angry at him. Which led to us getting into a multi-day argument that didn't end until one this morning. Lots of things were said that probably should have been said a long time ago. I just wish that they hadn't been said on Valentine's Day, of all days.
The strain in our relationship has been pretty tight lately. It doesn't help that there have been some outside problems that have leaked in. We had a very frank talk last night about the fact that we both think that things have slipped to a damaging level in our relationship. I'm very, very scared that the slightest tip could topple us at this point. The bickering has gotten to a point that neither of us wants to deal with it anymore.
I'm not really sure what will happen next. Something needs to change, because the hurt in our relationship has hurt the rest of my life. Things just need to get better fast.
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