Check it-- I'm wearing this fabulous black linen dress, I think I look damn hot... In a kind of naughty kindergarten teacher way. The thing is I know D won't think so. I've tried every style of clothing, every combination of skirts, tops, dresses, pants, jeans that I can think of. Never a reaction. He seems to like me best out of my clothes. Now here's the thing; while I was throwing the contents of my closet on the floor searching for something I thought he might like to see me in tonight I sat down on the rug, frustrated, naked with rollers in my hair, and I thought "I'm Marie". You know, from "When Harry Met Sally", the woman who is best friends with Sally and is having the affair with a married man. She's so deluded, she thinks he'll eventually leave his wife for her. Yup, I'm Marie. So deluded I think D is going to leave his fabulous bachelor life and be with me. Why would he? I'M GIVING HIM EVERYTHING. Oh I know, we've been over this all a million times. Leave him, you say. Put some distance between you, you say. Stop being such a pathetic sap, you say. You are Sally. I am Marie. You are the voice of reason. I am the one ignoring reason, because I am a pathetic, foolish woman, who sadly believes that life, may at certain junctions resemble a movie. It doesn't does it?

On a different note, I talked to E, who was surprisingly understanding. He told me to follow my heart, and he'd support me... There was some other stuff that made me cry, and feel sad. But when I told him he was wonderful for being so understanding he said: "Baby, you've never given me any reason to be otherwise to you. I love you." I swear men are insufferable creatures.

So are cats... I have to go find out what they're breaking now... Those two... Damn them...